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19 November 2010 @ 02:44 pm
 Ugh ugh, what to do?

I have a ton of projects going on right now, and I really am excited about all of them, but I'm just not inspired to do much at the moment.  I've just been trudging through the last month of my life.

How can I get any work done if I'm not inspired?

Maybe I should get some coffee :o [and burn holes in my stomach lining ;D]

Ugh ugh, what to do?
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♠♥♣♦: depressedugh
♪♪♪: ugh
13 June 2010 @ 12:53 pm
 So I returned home from Russia the night before last.  I'm still recovering from everything and still working on unpacking.  I really hope to be done with unpacking by tonight.  Before I left, I said that when I returned, I'd become a cleaning demon and really put work into fixing this battlefield of a home of mine, and, too my surprise...I actually have been doing that.  Despite being exhausted and a bit loopy, I've fit quite a bit of cleaning into the day and a half that I've been back.  We'll see how long I can keep this up...

I'm definitely super glad to be back.  The trip was definitely a fun and amazing experience, but it was also immensely stressful.  Though I enjoyed my time there, I don't know that I'd be interested in going back any time soon.  And I love all of you very dearly, but I think I missed my car more than anything.  All I could think about when I arrived at the airport here in HSV was driving myself somewhere for the first time in two weeks.  My nauseating withdrawal from my car was not even chiefly due to the fact that I love it and love driving, but mostly due to the fact that I was a passenger for two weeks straight.  Firstly, I hate being a passenger period.  Secondly, the roads were very rough, and I'm very sensitive to bumps and jumps.  Thirdly, people in Russia drive like MANIACS and there are no discernable traffic laws.  It is a miracle that we did not get into or witness a single accident the entire time we were there.

Anyway~ happy to be home, but still ridiculously busy and overwhelmed.  However, the passing and completion of that trip lifted an unimaginable weight off of my shoulders.  As tired as I am and as much as I'm dreading the remaining week and a half of classes, I'm actually feeling quite refreshed.

I am currently working on resizing and organizing all of my pictures from the trip, as well as finishing the compilation of my report/commentary on it.  Hopefully it will not take me too long to finish all of that. D:
♠♥♣♦: exhaustedexhausted
♪♪♪: "ガラスのハイウェイ" - doa
20 May 2010 @ 01:09 am

 ◊ Daily Sketch ◊


[from a conversation on may062010 about areas of comfort]

People always invite me over for parties and whatnot, but I will never stay over and they tend to get offended. It's nothing personal, though. I simply cannot sleep or even use the toilet, in other people's...in anywhere other than my currently established residence. The few times that I will stay overnight, I don't sleep and usually get sick to my stomach. I never eat full meals, only pick at things and sip from a water bottle that I've brought with me. This happens at the houses of even my /closest/ friends. I don't know what causes these issues. This is something I've observed in myself for as long as I can remember.

The exception, however, is when I'm "dating" someone. I am able to spend immeasurable amounts of time at their house. Somehow, it usually works out that it is an apartment into which they have just moved, which helps. The place has not been christened and established as someone else's home. I tend to fall asleep a bit better in those situations, but I will never stay asleep for very long and will wake up often. I still suffer the aforementioned issues. In hotels, also, I tend to be mentally more comfortable, but still don't sleep or eat or other things that the body needs to do regularly. I will probably die in Russia.

There are many times when I will even choose the consolation of my car over that of my room. Part of that is because my frequent states of physical illness often confine me to my bed or couch or whatever, that my "room" or "rooms" develop a negative connotation. Other than that, since living in the apartment at Sunlake, I have not felt like I've had a home. The dorm was just a room I was renting, not my room, and therefor not a place of solace, and here at my father's place I still feel like I'm visiting. Visiting for three.5 years and horribly imposing upon him, but still visiting nonetheless. I rarely call this place "home," and usually refer to it as "the condo." Right now, there is no "home." There's "the apartment," where I used to live, "the condo," where I sleep now, and "mom's place," which changes from time to time and where I rarely visit. I hope that whenever I can move into my own place I will be able to cure these issues of displacement.


A lot of my friends attend gyms, but I feel like those memberships are too expensive for what they are. I personally hate being around that many strangers for that type of activity. Not even a matter of shyness or embarrassment, just a matter of "nothanks." I prefer to workout, consequentially without equipment, at home. There are certain areas in which I miss out because of this, but ohwell. Gym membership is actually included in my tuition to my university, but I never make time for it or get over the fact that I'd rather not go.

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♠♥♣♦: nervousoverwhelmed
♪♪♪: "Pathetic" - Khoiba
05 May 2010 @ 10:30 pm
Перерыв в изучении русского языка!

Fashion brand community - poupeegirl

by poupeegirl
♠♥♣♦: blank:|
20 February 2010 @ 12:09 am
So many times has the LiveJournal Spotlight shown me wonderful things and so it does again~

This week they are featuring a community about hedgamahogs [hedgehogs ] and one about dollies[daily_doll ].

How lovely~

p.s.   Maybe I'll do something interesting someday. :o
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♠♥♣♦: busylalala~
♪♪♪: "This Place is a Prison" - The Postal Service
02 February 2010 @ 11:10 pm
I have recently discovered a new love of mine, Korean electrorock duo IINDIAN.  My first impression of them was as a Korean equivalent of VNV Nation, but upon 2975 more listens to their 2009 album "SPEAK," I have settled on a comparison more to Depeche Mode + Orgy + Iris.

Every song has at least one thing/part about it that I love, so I find it pretty rough to pick a favourite.  "Boy [Daddy's Voice]" is definitely the prettiest, "Loveside" is super chillgroovy, and I often get "Fire Love" stuck in my head.  Those three are my current favourites, but when I first heard the CD I was torn between "Discontent Maniac" and "날개의 그림자."

Both guys seem pretty neat [weird], but I love Pol.ter.geist because he is a tranny.  It actually took me a lot of work to figure out that he is [is?] a guy.

In other news of romance, I think I have finally found my dream ginger dressing.

Makoto Honey Ginger Dressing, you may be the only one for me.  You are the sole reason my dinner just now was almost unbearably fit.  I want to thank you.  I want to thank you the way that Natalie Merchant thanked so many people back in the 90s.

I hate school.
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♠♥♣♦: exhaustedexhausted
♪♪♪: "Boy [Daddy's Voice]" - IINDIAN